Blind
by ohsehunx
Summary: How does Rukia feel when Ichigo lost his power and was unable to see her? Rukia's side of the story. Mainly IchiRuki, side IchiHime ( no i don't ship )


He can't see me anymore. Ever since that day, I vanished from his world just like a solid snow melting to transparent water. But I can see him. I can see wherever he goes, whatever he's doing.

_Even if you lean your head against me and blankly look at me, you don't know._

He has no idea I'm always in his room, looking at him, missing him, dying to talk to him. Even if I speak, he can never hear.

_I spread my arms and say that it feels so cool but you still don't know._

Never in my life, had I felt so weak and hurt. I wasn't physically weak or hurt. I was emotionally. Myself who had gotten fond and close to him had to accept the fact that he can't see me.

_I am invisible but I am standing in front of you_

_But your eyes look past me._

In school, in his room, even anywhere, I stood in front of him. I smiled as he walked towards me, his eyes looking at what I thought at me. But my smile fell as he walked through me, his eyes looking straight forward - at her. Orihime Inoue, a woman that was beautiful, perfect, kind and what men had dreamed of. Unlike me. I knew it, they were meant to be.  
_  
Just once, just once, please look for me_  
_The more you feel, the more you feel_  
_I become more and more invisible_

For all the time I've been watching him, he have never once muttered my name. Not even thought of me. I can see that, as his mind was occupied by all the thoughts of her. That beautiful curvaceous woman with long auburn hair. What was I thinking? I should've known of where I stood long before.  
_  
At the end of my desperate prayers_  
_If only you will find me so that I can have you in my arms_

I prayed silently every night to have him gain his powers back, so that he would look at me. It wasn't heard. I remained invisible to him who doesn't even know about my existence. I wanted to hug him again, feel his warmth against me. That was impossible for now, as I am just a mere soul and he was a human.

_In the hazy winter frost, I try to draw my heart but you don't know_  
_I gather the scattered raindrops and shed them instead of tears but you don't know_

On his window, as I tried to write out my name and his, my hands just went through it. Was I dumb to forget that I was a soul? The rain that fell that night, I watched as he invited her in and cuddled her to bed. Oh how I wish I was her. Both of them had a smile on their face, they were happy. Together.

_I am cold but I am flowing toward you_  
_I despise myself for being square  
_  
I hid in his closet for warmth, but the place had changed. It was no longer mine. It had become a storage space for her stuffs inside. It barely had any space left for me, but I cramped myself in the tiny narrow side and watched him from the slightly open door. I missed him.

_My heart is cracked, cut and broken_  
_At the end of a rough day_  
_When I am broken into pieces, you would be able to see me.  
_  
I heard that he is single now. I was happy, but sad for him at the same time. They would have been perfect together. He also got his powers back, that's what my Captain had said. He would be coming soon. I can finally see him. I'm glad. I let out a tear of joy as I pictured the image of him coming back into my embrace.

_You can't see so I love you like this_  
_Even your fingerprints in the corner_  
_I strongly engrave them into me  
_  
I did my work happily everyday, at the thought of him coming to Soul Society to meet me. My subordinates would catch me smiling to myself and would tease me about it, and my cheeks showed a tint of red. Was I really excited to have him come back?

_My blackened and bruised heart-_  
_I take it out and show it to you_  
_But you just say that looks pitch-black outside  
_  
He was the last person I got to see that day. The day where I got defeated by an Arrancar who came for revenge. He ran towards my side, holding me in his arms, his tears pouring down his cheeks. I looked at him and smiled weakly, I felt happy at that moment, with him holding me tightly. I felt myself weakening every minute. I closed my eyes, feeling exhausted, that's when he shook my body harshly and yelled for my name. I opened my eyes again, looking at his panicked expression. He called out for my name again, this time it was louder.

I looked into his eyes, lost in the situation. I felt so tired, I wanted to close my eyes and take a rest. I used my remaining strength and stroked his cheeks which was wet from crying. His orange hair stuck to his forehead due to the rain, and I don't know if he was crying now or not. I told him not to cry. He did not listen to me, his sobs got louder. I closed my eyes one last time, and before I let myself slip away from life, I heard the words I have died to hear.

'I love you, Rukia.'


End file.
